Marriage Is a Pirate Affair
by pingo1387
Summary: After several months of dating, Zoro finally pops the question. ZoLu wedding. One-shot.


**This one's dedicated to CK and Lew. Keep being awesome, you two!**

**In this story, Zoro and Luffy are asexual. Zoro is biromantic and Luffy is homoromantic. Basically, this means that neither of them are interested in sex; they just love to go on dates and occasionally cuddle and kiss.**

* * *

><p>No one was quite sure when it had started.<p>

But at some point, the crew had noticed how Zoro and Luffy looked at each other, how they stole glances when they each thought the other was oblivious. How long this had been going on, it was hard to say.

They had started dating perhaps a day or two after Luffy defeated Enel. It had taken much poking and prodding and exasperated explanations from the rest of the crew, but they were now officially a couple.

Everyone noticed, of course. The way they'd go off in town just to spend time together, the way Luffy would fall asleep on Zoro during especially dull days, the cuddling and chaste kisses . . . even the most dimwitted observer would pick up on it.

There was one question, of course, which had lingered on the crew's minds for some time, but which they did not dare to ask:

_When will he propose?_

* * *

><p>"Usopp!"<p>

Usopp glanced around and spotted Sanji hovering next to the glass door of a jewelry shop. He strolled over to him and muttered, "What's up? Are you stalking someone?"

"No—well, sort of—just look!" Sanji hissed.

Usopp peered into the window and, to his surprise, saw Zoro examining the rows of rings under glass cases. As he watched, the clerk approached Zoro and asked him something. Zoro responded, looking somehow embarrassed, and the clerk nodded and disappeared into a back room.

"What's _Zoro_ doing in a jewelry store?" Usopp muttered in surprise. "Does he need earring replacements or something?"

Sanji grinned. "Think about it, idiot. Moss-head and Luffy have been dating for a few months now. Isn't it about time for . . . ?"

Usopp's face slowly dawned with comprehension. He grinned and clapped his hands to his cheeks. "You don't mean—!?"

Sanji nodded. "Oh, man, I can't wait to see the look on Luffy's face!"

"When is he gonna do it?" Usopp squealed. "Next week? Tomorrow? _Today_?"

"Ssh!" Sanji whispered, leaning over Usopp's head to peer inside. Usopp quieted down and looked inside.

Zoro was examining the rings that the clerk had set in front of him. He pointed at one and the clerk said something. Zoro seemed to think for a moment, then nodded. The clerk nodded, took out the ring, and brought out a box. Zoro took out several bills and handed them to the clerk.

"Where'd he get the money?" Usopp muttered.

"He borrowed it from Nami-_swan_ earlier," Sanji muttered. They both pulled back their heads.

"This is so exciting," Usopp whispered happily. "I can't wait for—!"

Suddenly the door opened, knocking Usopp into Sanji and throwing them both to the ground. Zoro looked over, holding a small box, which he quickly stuffed out of sight. Usopp and Sanji had landed in a very awkward position.

"If you guys wanna make out, there's an alley literally right next to us," Zoro pointed out.

"WE WEREN'T KISSING!" they roared. Sanji shoved Usopp off of him and they both stood up as Zoro shrugged and went off in the opposite direction of the ship.

"Come to think of it . . ." Usopp muttered. "Does Luffy even know what being married means?"

Sanji's eyes widened. "He probably doesn't! Come on, Usopp!"

"What?" Usopp exclaimed as Sanji dragged him to the ship.

"It's our duty as men to explain it to him!"

"What?"

* * *

><p>". . . And then you live happily ever after," Usopp finished. He and Sanji had taken turns explaining the concept of marriage to Luffy.<p>

"Okay," Luffy said.

"You understand?" Sanji asked.

"Yeah," Luffy said. "So why are you guys telling me?"

Usopp and Sanji grinned at each other. "Don't worry about it," Usopp said cheerfully. "You'll find out soon!"

Luffy frowned. "Um . . . okay." He smiled. "That does sound like fun. I wonder if me and Zoro are gonna get married some day?"

Sanji and Usopp quickly ran out of the room before their faces could betray them.

* * *

><p>They set sail the next day. As the hours went on, Zoro seemed more and more nervous about <em>something<em>: pacing up and down the stern, fidgeting, and habitually going into the men's room as if to check on something.

Finally, dinnertime rolled around. Everyone noticed how Zoro kept looking up nervously at Luffy, who of course was too focused on his meal to see this.

Zoro finished his dinner as Luffy got halfway through his second helping.

"Luffy?"

Luffy looked up and grinned. "What's up, Zoro?"

Zoro came around the table and got down on one knee next to his captain and boyfriend. Nami, Usopp, and Sanji looked excited. Chopper seemed confused, Robin seemed pleased, surprise was dawning on Franky's face, and Brook's expression did not change.

"Luffy," Zoro said. He hesitated and took a deep breath. "We've . . . been together for a good half year or so . . . I love you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you."

Luffy stared at Zoro as the swordsman pulled out the little box. He opened it to reveal a glittering silver ring, set with a beautiful garnet.

"Monkey D. Luffy . . . will you marry me?"

Amidst the bated breath of the crew, Luffy held up a finger. Zoro stared at him. Luffy went back to his meal and quickly started eating again.

"Okay, I'm done now," he muttered once he'd completely cleared his plate. He turned back to Zoro, pulled him into a standing position, and promptly tackled him to the ground again with a ferocious hug.

"Yes!" Luffy cried. "Yes, I'll marry you!"

"You had to finish your meal first!?" Usopp exclaimed even as he and Nami grabbed hands and danced around.

Franky sobbed. "This is so great! I'm so happy for you guys! Hey—shut up! I'm not crying!"

"I'll be sure to make you jerks a damn good cake for the wedding!" Sanji yelled, twisting a dishtowel between his hands and grinning.

"Yo-ho-ho-ho, this is such an exciting occasion!" Brook cried. "I feel tears of happiness coming on—but I have no eyes to cry with!"

"I've never been to a wedding before," Chopper exclaimed excitedly. He turned to Robin. "What's a wedding like?"

"I've never been to one either," she admitted, smiling. "But I hear they're fun."

The newly-engaged couple finally got up. Zoro took Luffy's left hand and slipped the ring onto his fourth finger.

"So when's the wedding?" Luffy asked, all smiles as he held up his hand to study the ring. "Are we gonna get _you_ a ring?"

Zoro grinned. "We'll take care of those things later. . . ."

* * *

><p><em>Three weeks later<em>

"You nervous?" Nami asked, straightening out Luffy's wedding attire.

Luffy grinned. "Why would I be nervous? I know what to do!"

Nami grabbed a comb and started going through Luffy's messy black mop. "Oh, I don't know . . . I'm sure some people feel nervous at weddings."

Luffy winced as the comb hit a knot. "Not me!"

Nami smiled. She fixed the knot, stepped back, and gave Luffy a once-over. "Perfect."

Luffy grinned.

Meanwhile, in another room, Robin was helping out Zoro with _his_ wedding outfit.

"Does it look okay?" Zoro asked, turning around to see himself in the mirror as Robin finished up the back.

"You look great," Robin said with a reassuring smile. "Would you like me to comb your hair?"

"I can do that," Zoro muttered. He grabbed the comb and ran it through his hair a few times. "There, it's fine."

"Are you nervous?"

Zoro sighed. "A . . . a little bit. But . . ." he grinned. "I know it'll go fine."

"Let me see you."

Robin stepped back. Zoro reluctantly turned around to give her a full view.

"Perfect."

* * *

><p>Out on the lawn, the crew waited. They had dragged out the chairs from the galley and set them up in awkward rows with space in the middle for a makeshift aisle. Franky had created an arch at the end of the aisle, where Usopp and Chopper waited. Usopp was wearing a suit—since it was Sanji's, it was a little loose on him. Chopper wore black shorts and a tiny black jacket Robin had helped make for him. In the audience, Brook had washed up and polished his shoes, Sanji was wearing his best suit, and Franky had simply put on a bow tie.<p>

Finally, a door opened above them. Everyone looked up to see Robin leading Zoro out of the girls' quarters. He was wearing a brilliant green gown with a halter top and a gorgeous flowing train. He held his head high and proud as Robin led him down the aisle.

"I thought Strawhat was gonna wear the dress," Franky muttered to Brook as Robin sat next to Sanji, much to his delight.

Brook shrugged. "Zoro-_san_ looks quite stunning, doesn't he?"

Zoro waited patiently next to Usopp and Chopper. Finally another door opened and everyone turned to see Nami leading Luffy out of the men's room. Luffy was wearing a beautiful red balloon dress, the straps tied around his neck. He had left his hat inside for the ceremony.

Sanji snickered. Luffy finally reached the altar and looked at Zoro in surprise as Nami hurried to sit down.

"I thought _you_ were going to wear the suit!" Zoro hissed.

"I thought it was you!" Luffy exclaimed.

"Why would you think that!?"

"Why did you think it was me!?"

"Why didn't you just both wear suits?" Franky muttered.

They settled down, casting each other glances. Usopp cleared his throat. Luffy and Zoro clasped hands and waited.

"Dearly beloved," he began dramatically, "we are gathered here today to join this man and wo—these two men in holy matrimony! Marriage is a solemn affair which must be held in honor by all, which must not be taken lightly by the ones involved! Each of you must completely and unreservedly give yourselves to one another, as this ceremony symbolizes the sharing of two lives and enhances your relationship!"

Sanji tried to hold Nami's hand, but she happily leaned into Robin instead. Franky and Brook started to cry.

"Zoro," Usopp continued, turning to him, "do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband; promise to love, comfort, and honor him in sickness and in health; to remain faithful to him until death do you part?"

Zoro squeezed Luffy's hands. "I do," he said firmly.

"And Luffy," Usopp said, turning to his captain, "do you take this man to be _your_ lawfully wedded husband; promise to love, comfort—"

"I do!" Luffy exclaimed happily.

"I wasn't done," Usopp mumbled.

"Well, it's the same as Zoro's, right? And I heard that already."

Usopp sighed. "Okay, okay. Chopper, the rings?"

Chopper offered up the two small boxes on a platter. Zoro picked up one and opened it to reveal the silver band set with the beautiful garnet. He slipped it onto the fourth finger of Luffy's left hand. Likewise, Luffy took the second box and opened it to reveal a beautiful silver ring set with a stunning emerald. He slipped this onto the appropriate finger.

"By the power vested in me," Usopp said dramatically, sounding a bit choked up, "I-I now pronounce you husband and husband. You may now kiss!"

Luffy bent backwards as Zoro leaned over far to capture his lips in a full kiss. Everyone in the audience stood and cheered.

"Congratulations!"

"You two make a damn fine couple!"

"Hey, it's time for the reception!"

Brook pulled out his violin and began to play some lively music. Sanji, Franky, Usopp, and Chopper carried the chairs back into the kitchen and returned with tables, which they loaded with food and, of course, the wedding cake.

* * *

><p>The reception had been complete chaos. Luffy had devoured half the cake and nearly ripped his dress. Sanji kept trying to get Nami to dance with him but eventually settled for dancing with Usopp and Chopper. Franky practically stole the show with his moves.<p>

At one point, the Marines had opened fire and boarded the Sunny. Upon learning that a wedding reception was in progress, they had immediately dropped their weapons and joined the celebration, to the annoyance of their superiors. Eventually the Strawhats kicked them off the ship and sent them packing back to the Navy base.

All in all, it had been a fantastic day. The party went well into the night and everyone basically passed out on the deck (Nami and Robin had retreated to their room a while ago).

Luffy and Zoro lay next to each other, holding hands.

"That was fun," Luffy said sleepily.

Zoro grinned. "Yeah."

"Zoro?"

"Mm?"

"Usopp and Sanji told me that after a marriage, you live happily ever after."

"Did they?"

"Uh-huh." Luffy looked at Zoro innocently. "Are we gonna do that?"

Zoro smiled. "Of course."

And they did.

* * *

><p><strong>Hope that wasn't too cheesy! This was pretty fun to write.<strong>


End file.
